After having experienced a breathtaking and stunning show I got the chance next day to talk a little with Scott Kelly. Sunday afternoon in X-Taster Office in Camden Town Relapse own Yvonne, the lady from X-Taster, two French guys waiting for another interview, me and finally Scott hooked up, while everybody was still bloody tired, fighting against hangovers and keen on hot coffee. Well, the aftershow party was lively and took a while ;) Fortunately I was the first one, so I had somewhat of a fresh counterpart patiently answering a huge bunch of questions …

Dajana: Ok, let’s talk about the show last night. For me it was so amazing, breathtaking, mesmerizing and one of the best shows I ever have seen in my life. How did you experience the show last night?
Scott: Well, first of all, there was a lot more of people I think we were expecting. We never expect too much, so we were really, really surprised and you know, it is really kind of an honor to know that people will travel this far and do what they have to do to get there. Because we put a lot of time and effort and sacrifices into our band and all we have. And now to see people doing the same thing in order to get to where we are playing is really great and we are very thankful for that. It was kind of hard work to play all these songs we did last night, but that is what we want to do, you know, which is the way we always have been. But I think it is in more than any other one, there are a lot of different things happening, a lot of dynamics, a lot of ambience and stuff like this. I don’t know … it felt pretty … it was magical last night. It was a great venue.
Dajana: It was the first time you came over after five years of absence and it was the one and only show in Europe, so I think that’s the reason for the run …
Scott: Totally. It’s money, it’s time, you’re missing work, I mean it’s a great effort for people to do that. I really appreciate.
Dajana: But I heard there will be a short tour in next year’s spring?
Scott: No! There will be one show. We agreed last night to do the Fury Fest in France. It is not really possible for us to do a tour right now for a number of reasons. Touring is just not going to happen for NEUROSIS for a long time. That’s the way it is. We toured a lot the years before.
Dajana: Yes, I know [sighs], but I never have seen NEUROSIS at this time. That’s why I’m here, that’s why I didn’t want to miss this show …

Dajana: It’s actually not an easy task to do a NEUROSIS interview, since you are around for almost 20 years. You probably have done hundreds of interviews and know all questions that might come up ;) …
Scott: It’s ok, don’t worry about it.
Dajana: … On the other hand, after reading some of the essential NEUROSIS quotes, I can answer my entire questions by myself. Isn’t it paradox?
Scott: Ok [laughs] I tell you if the quotes are correct …
Dajana: Ok, here are some:
“Our music is an ego trip!”
„It’s totally self-absorbed music, completely self-centered. We totally make it for us and the fact that anybody gets anything out of it is totally secondary. Since it is for ourselves and we don’t act on any of our expectations other than the fire to be creative, the need to express ourselves and our commitment to our sound, to each other, to the music has given us an extra kick in the ass.“ [Steve von Till]

Dajana: Thinking about these lines it gets clear: that’s the only way artists of all sorts should handle their business. What do you think, might be the reason that so many talented musicians dissipate their energies for something else than the essence you often can sense out, meaning, you see the potential a musician/band has inside, but their work does not represent what they are capable to do? Why they cannot let it go?
Scott: I don’t really know. I think they get sidetracked by other things, maybe they become addicted to making people happy, making money, sex, I don’t know. So many different angers too … So many bands have tried and have done it for a while, but then sometime if you get success, life gets really soft, everybody does things for you … NEUROSIS is just a different thing. It’s a commitment we made when we started and we have just really committed people, you know, we are just kind of like if we decided we are going to do something then we’ll all stop it after keep doing that. And for us our music is like a church, our religion and it is what brought us everything we have in this life. For us it is something you really have to treat with utmost respect, and it has to be true to what we intend to do. Then it is absolutely true: it is an ego trip, it is completely self-centered. And it’s exactly what we want to do.

Dajana: Did you know that right from the beginning or did it take some time in NEUROSIS to get this wisdom?
Scott: No, it was like this right from the beginning. But at the time the first album came out we won’t even playing half of the songs on this bad record anymore because we were bored of them. That is what enables us to continue for 20 years, that we just don’t really give a fuck what anybody else thinks about of how we do what we want to do. As long as we are happy with what we have done, then we continue. And if we are not … well, that will never happen, because we just work and work. We focus and work and work. It takes us a long time to develop. What everything we have sacrificed in the 20 years in this band, everything we have ever done and everyone we have ever known, it’s like every bit is included in our music and our performances.

Dajana: Was it just luck or even fate to get this people together in NEUROSIS?
Scott: Either luck or fate, I don’t know. Whatever you believe in [laughs] Yeah, it’s an unique combination of people, that’s for sure.
Dajana: I think there are not that many bands that have such a stable line-up for such a long time, not having all this trouble inside a band, it’s really impressing.
Scott: Yeah, it’s the respect. There are certain things you cannot do if you are going to maintain a family.

Dajana: Coming back to the ego trip … How difficult is it to balance between your own priorities and the desire of all these fans. Your music might be an ego trip for yourself, but you don’t release just 5 CD’s, for every member one or something like that. Is there sort of pressure you feel?
Scott: No! The only pressure we feel is from ourselves and that is a lot. It is definitely nobody outside of the band that could get more pressure than we put on ourselves. It doesn’t matter to us how people perceive what we do. Maybe as individuals it does. I think on our personal level, how we do with people, or people we do work with, or fans and whatever, that matters. And that is something that can be affected in each individual situation. But as far as it concerns the music, what we play and what we don’t play, it has only to do with what we feel, paints the pictures we are trying to create. You know, it’s great if people like what we are doing, don’t get me wrong, we appreciate that, but … you know …
Dajana: Yes, but that is just one side. On the other side, there are needs. You are not millionaires; you cannot do this all just for fun. You have to sell some entities and stuff.
Scott: You know, we work in regular jobs. We don’t live on NEUROSIS. So, we really do it for fun. That’s the way we put it. Like I said, it’s more a religion to us. It’s where we find some source of our salvations in the music. That kind of frees us. If our families would depend on how we do sell records, that would be a different thing. We have never been that way, we have always worked and we always will. In fact, when we would tour all the time, we couldn’t have regular jobs and the band did support the families at home. We sent moneys home. It was really after doing an effort through the years that we realized that we are out of bounds. It was not right anymore. We were working in new jobs, our families and children … you know.

Dajana: Where you get the inspirations from for the lyrics that mostly deal with nature themes as metaphors for the human psyche. Are there musical idols that have left such striking marks on yourself that you can say: yes, this band/musician/style has influenced our music? What about other influences like literature, art … etc.
Scott: Um … yes. When it comes to the lyrics … they just kind of happen. I don’t really know. They just come out of the end of the pen. It is something that pops in my head. I don’t know … But we are definitely very much students of music and we are lovers of film and literature and history, science, religion, all of that. It’s all very interesting to us. Each individual has its personal taste. You can imagine we have come across a lot of very inspiring things, individuals, bands, writers, and people. There are a lot of people who have done what we are doing before us.
Dajana: Is there anyone special who had a bigger impact on you, faves?
Scott: Yeah, when we first started a band, we kind of picked up a few bands and said ok, this is what we would like to do too, like Pink Floyd and Black Flag, Joy Devision. That are bands that really made something to people, bands who worked very hard in what they were doing, committed to going out into an area where maybe they didn’t feel so comfortable. That’s a part where you have to face your fear, where you have to go and say ok, what’s to be needed to work on, where you need to go. For me personally writers like Ernest Hemingway and Cormack McCarthy moved me. People like them. Anybody who has a vision and just does it, without regard for how people might perceive and so on.

Dajana: Are there plans for a new DVD, maybe with a special visual concept behind like on The Sun That Never Sets DVD? Or something completely different but musically leaning against The Eye Of Every Storm?
Scott: Um … we have got plans for a DVD, but – after 20 years – it would be more some sort of a retrospective film project, what is pretty abstract at this point, as far as the idea. We have not certain worked on it so I cannot guarantee what will happen. But I think once we have done the shows we will be able to turn all our energies on future projects. Right now we are playing shows. We have one more to do in Seattle in 3 weeks.
Dajana: What about a live DVD? Yesterday would have been the perfect chance to film this show for a live DVD …
Scott: Maybe, yeah. It would have been. Yes. I don’t know. Maybe. We could do a live DVD but it is kind of … you know, typically we don’t do stuff like that. It is not that easy, you need all these cameras, people, the light must be perfect, that changes everything. You have to fucking concentrate, to play good and such bullshit. You get this fucking people aware and you are always thinking of that fact. It would not have been a good show then, not even close. That’s why we have never done it.

Dajana: Let’s talk about your label. How is work with Neurot Recordings? Are all members equally involved? How do you select bands for the label?
Scott: Steve’s wife is running the label. Steve – it’s all in their house – is doing the majority, the phone work and his wife runs the daily stuff. We all take part in mailorder and stuff and in signing the bands we want to work with. Basically people send us stuff and we are listening to it. If it’s something about that feels like it fits into our indefinable categories, we start talking to them. The way we sign bands … they send us stuff or we come across them, or we make the contact and we see if they are willing to do what we have to offer. It is not that much.
Dajana: Did you already sign a band where you said: wow, that’s groundbreaking (or could be in the future), we really want to sign them?
Scott: Yeah, I mean, a lot of the bands we have got now are very unique. There is a lot I would like to put out and I think they do something very different and unique. What they will do in the future is out of my hands, you know. For us it is more that we want to find working bands, because we are not a big budget label, we don’t have a big promotion and stuff like that. So they have to be a band that is willing to work. If they are on the road, we can help them, because we have been on the road and we have connection in that way, we can help to set them up with other bands, to bring things together. That is a part of the purpose we are excited who to work with. There is all kind of possibilities, but I don’t know. Maybe one of our bands will rule the world one day. [laughs] Are you interested?
Dajana: Why not ;)

Dajana: Neurot Recordings seems to be a frame where NEUROSIS and all the other projects are part of a puzzle. Can you already complete the puzzle to an entire picture? What does it show then?
Scott: I really don’t know. It’s hard to say, everything is still growing. The label is growing, slowly, just like Neurosis is growing too, slowly, the music we are doing, the music of our side-projects; the music of the bands we’re putting out is growing and creative. So I don’t know. Honestly, I hope for us, one of the main things, it has always been important to us, it is like a legacy. When it is done, when it is over and we have gone, that there is something there, that people can remember us and find something that maybe will touch them. So, it’s really all about that we are leaving a mark. We have this deep desire to leave a mark on the face of the earth when we are done.
Dajana: Do you personally feel complete with NEUROSIS and the side-projects?
Scott: Um … yea, yeah! I mean, complete in a way that I feel like I have the muse to do everything that I’m doing and coming up with. Not complete when I still feel like musically growing and getting better in getting stuff out of my head and transforming it into something other people can hear. So I think, I’m still miles away from being “complete”.

Dajana: You have made an album with Jarboe, released in October 2003. She is such an amazing women … Are more collaborations planned? This sound is even for NEUROSIS “die-hard” fans not easy to take…
Scott: No, no plans yet. But it is definitely incredible. I think it’s pretty possible. The connection is strong. And it is a great album. We talked about for a long time. It was really full-filling for us and I hope for her too. I think it was. She’s so incredible … incredible …
Dajana: I actually didn’t expect to see her since she felt ill with that throat infection. I was more than happy to see her, and she was great, her voice too.
Scott: Yes, she was really good. She was really sick over the last week. We had two days to practice and she was little to make it to even one. She was sick on the plane and I doubt if she would play. But she did. And she was great. She is always great, not only last night.
Dajana: Yeah, she is a great performer.
Scott: My daughter saw her, when we played in Los Angeles and my daughter came with me. And she said it was really special.

Dajana: What do you think of so called “NEUROSIS-related” bands such as Isis, Cult Of Luna and so on? Are you curious what they are about? Do you know their music? Did you ever seem them live/ met them? Could you sense out this spiritual relation to your own music?
Scott: Isis are friends of us and we actually put out their EP. Cult Of Luna? I never heard them. But I don’t really know what’s going on; I kind of live in my own world. But we are definitely aware of what’s going on in this matter and it is great when bands get inspired in some way by us.
Dajana: That already proves that you have left a mark on the earth’s face. That makes you proud?
Scott: Yes, definitely [smiles]

Dajana: Funny question … If you had to create a sculpture to reflect the soul of NEUROSIS, what would that be and how would it look.
Scott: [blows up the jowls] … I don’t know, I really don’t know. I know it would take a long time and I would probably create it and destroy it many times before it finally becomes something great. It is a hard question. I mean, as we come upon this 20th anniversary we started trying to remember things, experiences, people, performances and things. It is pretty staggering when you start thinking about it, it has been so much. It would probably be some sort of archetype, a symbol that would be pretty simple, free flowing …
Dajana: … and never finished …
Scott: Yeah, it would be probably unfinished.

Dajana: I know, that you don’t deal that much with politics, but nevertheless you are a band that gets quite often related to the left-alternative scene and culture. And you have often been claimed to be a political band. How does it come, what do you think.
Scott: I think that artists get often put either into the right or into the left scene. You know… politics …
Dajana: It’s maybe a European thing …
Scott: Yeah, I think it’s not the same in America basically. I don’t know. Each individual in the band has its own fears; we basically deal with the same about most things. I think we basically say that people should do what they want to do, as long as they don’t hurt other people and particularly children. That is one thing we definitely stand for: protecting children, allowing them to grow up in a healthy environment. Of course, we would like to live in a world where you didn’t have to drive a car, which uses gas and oil. That would be nice. I think, politics is one of those things where people want to say do this and do that. You have to exist in this world and you have two choices. Either you use what’s around and you do what you need to get done or you go far far away and you exist on your own and you don’t take part in any way. Either way is fine with me. But live in a dangerous time, there is no doubt about it. The things that now are going on in America are really fucking scary. But then again, what do you expect? It doesn’t matter, there is not that much different, who the president is.
Dajana: It’s all about money...
Scott: Yes, they say America sucks and our government is shit … just like everybody else has a fucking shit government. It’s about politics, about money. It’s our nature. For me politics is a dead end street. I’ve never been a politician. It’s all compromises and bullshit is the nature of the game. So, don’t expect too much. You have to try to find a way for yourself and your family, whatever that means.

Dajana: There was an article in a German political magazine, saying that many Americans pretend to be Canadians when they are here in Europe …
Scott: Yes, I heard that. That’s funny. I never would do that. I’m not ashamed who I am, no matter what that is, for being an American, or my skin color or what else. I’m not going to be ashamed. I think that everybody should have to find something about who they are. Yes, I heard that people were pretending to be Canadians. Why? Do they think that somebody else says something to them?
Dajana: Well, for me for example it is quite strange to be in U.K., because of our history and the WWII, but no matter how often British people are talking shit about Germans, I have seen a lot of them here in London wearing German army clothes with the German flag on the sleeve. That is really strange …
Scott: Yes, exactly. That is what I mean. We have a couple of good friends who are Germans, and for a long time they were ashamed. It is like being ashamed for the slavery in America; my family has nothing to do with it. It’s a horrible fucking thing, just like the holocaust. But it already happened and people nowadays can’t change it anymore.
Dajana: As Great Britain has a bad history too, just remember what they have done in India and France in Africa …
Scott: Almost every country has a dark mark in its history. Show me a country that doesn’t has something like genocide in its history. Maybe Canada …

Dajana: Ok, I’m finally at the end with my questions. Thank you very much for the show last night and the time you spent here answering so patiently everything ;)
Scott: You’re welcome!

12/2004 © Dajana Winkel • Neurosis •